saying goodbye to facebook & hello to productivity (well, hopefully)

this week has thankfully seemed to go by quickly…maybe because i feel like i’m actually doing things at my school now and finally feel useful. while my counterpart and i are still not seeing eye to eye on grant issues, i’m busy brainstorming ways to fund what they want without a grant — which would hopefully be more sustainable and lasting.

aside from thinking about talent shows, jump rope-a-thons, and photo contests, i’m happy to say my world map project is underway. well…sort of. it’s been a much slower start than i’d like, but then again it’s ukraine and most things here move at a glacier pace. trying to figure out all that’s necessary to paint a huge map of the world on the outdoor wall of the school has been tricky…especially doing it in russian. but i’m hoping my counterpart will pull though, some students will sign-up to help (they seemed pretty apprehensive about the idea), and by the beginning of october we’ll start painting.

the world map project is known by pcvs worldwide as a great, ‘easy’ project to get your school or the community involved in. so having worked on one at another volunteer’s school, i was eager to fill the ugly bare part of our school building where two windows have been filled in. it’ll be tricky since it’ll be painted on brick, there’s no chance in using a projector to grid it out, and we’ll be dealing with fluctuating weather, but my hopes are high that things will go well and the school will love it.

it’s also a shorter week since on friday, i’ll leave for camp GLOW (girls leading our world) over the weekend. it’s a small peace corps volunteer run camp for girls that’ll take place at the sea in the neighboring oblast (5 hours away by bus). i’m so looking forward to it since i’ll be working with some of my dearest pcv friends AND three of my students are coming along with me.

so of course in preparation for the girl empowerment camp, i’m going super domestic by making beet brownies and chocolate chip cookies to share at camp…not ironic at all.

in other news, i’ve said good-bye to facebook (maybe there’s a link with my increased productivity? yea?). it wasn’t easy to do really and it took quite the courage…which i hate to say because that sounds SO DUMB and i don’t want to think of myself as dependent on such a thing.

but in reality i was. it was like saying goodbye to a dear friend, a way of life, one that i haven’t been without for seven years. my life has been formed basically around facebook and its community for years, so making a few simple clicks to say good-bye to all that wasn’t so easy.

i really did enjoy facebook. it became pretty much the main way i communicated with friends. being overseas i think maybe i relied too much on facebook. on the sense of closeness it brought. sometimes it made my homesickness much more bearable. and at other times extremely unbearable. i realized i was dependent on it, on the approval it somehow gave my life. and the loneliness that i encounter here was somehow balanced by the feeling of being ‘heard’ on Facebook.

we inherently want to feel heard. and i think that’s the one main thing that keeps facebook going and remains the key to its success. people want to feel important, that other people care about their daily life, and that they’re not the only one out there.

i don’t mean to say i wasn’t a part of that. i myself would eagerly (and somewhat pathetically) wait for people to ‘like’ things on my wall. awaiting approval. there was a time when facebook wasn’t so much about that though. but it’s slowly evolved into it and now that my college days are over, having a news feed of engagement announcements, wedding photos, and baby pictures is definitely proof that things have changed.

i knew i would one day delete my facebook. i could never picture myself one day as a parent hangin’ out on facebook tagging photos of my baby as my husband…or at this rate photos of my cats as myself. but this is not to say i judge people for that…if that’s what they want to do, by all means go for it! it’s just that…that’s not me…that’s not what i want.

phasing out of facebook was always the goal. i figured after peace corps i’d eventually disconnect. but if i don’t do it now, i may not ever. so why not now. i still have the ridiculous dream of becoming amish and living off the grid. not relying on internet, electronics, or social media. i know i rely WAY to much on my computer, my dslr camera, and this blog in fact to do it all at once, but eventually i think i will.

it’ll definitely be a change. and i’ll have to find other ways to communicate and stay in touch. though i do admit i’m slightly worried that because i’ve left facebook, people will think i kind of don’t exist anymore, like i thought a few of my facebook-less friends didn’t, but i guess the friends that truly matter will keep in touch and the ones that don’t really won’t…at least that’s my hope.

my blog traffic has already decreased significantly since facebook was a major outlet for readership. but i guess i’ll have to remember that i began this blog for myself and will still deeply enjoy working on it, even if there are only a few readers out there ; )

fresh air scent

the things they carried

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