ukrainians make all sorts of comments when they notice i’m a lefty. especially of late since i’ve been outside all day working on the world map at school. usually they ask ‘you’re left handed??’ — no…i’m just pretending. DUH i’m left handed!! but it’s such an odd sight, i might as well be a talking albino squirrel. they become so stunned and the obvious goes out the window.
usually they question how i could possibly write, grip the pen, and proceed to judge ‘well that’s not right!’ even being a lefty in america is weird. high school and college involved endless desks made for the right handed elite. in fact it inspired a silly rondeau poem i wrote for one of my university poetry courses.
Left handed in a righty’s world,
adjusting to a backwards life of unfair
a minority ignored and feeling somewhat pissed.
All I am asking, all that I insist,
is to be treated with a little care!
So tired of my elbow hanging in the air,
searching desperately for the lefty chair,
finding only one form exists.
Left handed in a rightie’s world.
Dinning with others is a great affair
though unable to move, because beware!
I am left handed and there in persists
the undeniable chance of us hitting wrists
but please do not gawk or stare, I’m simply rare!
Left handed in a righty’s world.
the attention i get from time to time here is nothing really new to me. but the rate of lefties in ukraine is even far less than back home. students are taught in school that it’s ‘not proper’, as it was thought in america during the 50s. if my dad would have had his way i’d be right handed too. but i knew that left was best.
growing up left handed has caused some confusion in my life. i’ve learned to do almost everything right handed: scissor usage, computer mouse usage, machinery (#1 reason lefties live shorter!), sports, chip dipping, etc. i had to!
all which ironically make my right side my strong side. i’m at a total loss when it comes to playing baseball since i can only throw right handed and my left hand can’t catch anything coming at me. i guess i’m one pretty confused lefty…not to mention a total embarrassment on the field.
so maybe that’s what perplexes righties about us. ‘how can it be any other way?’ they think. well it can be all sorts of ways really…but mostly it’s the way of the majority, and not the talking albino squirrels out there.
lefty politics set aside, today couldn’t have started any better…well it would have been nice if i hadn’t dropped a bowl of oatmeal in my lap, but no chernobyl mouse to keep me awake last night (knock on wood) and a cup of french press made STARBUCKS COFFEE i purchased in istanbul (yea that was my souvenir) made it epic-ly awesome.
i headed to school with a brand buying caffeine buzz and determination to finish the map. or to draw the boarders at least. normally i just work on the map without music, simply zoning out and occasionally coming to with the sound of wild animals — which are really just little kids that run around and call each other turds. but today my energized mood called for some classic rock: heart, styx, elo…music that one should not listen to while at the top of a rickety ladder.
after my caffeine & rock n’ roll rage wore off, i realized i couldn’t work on the map as long as i wanted today. i’m SO close to finishing. it feels like i’ve been working on it for a million years. okay maybe more like 1 month. i hoped to finish all the border drawing but my hand painfully cramped and fatigued from gripping the marker and holding it above my shoulder for hours.
i was fairly certain that my hand would simply sieze up, turn into a pillar of salt, and blow away. serious props to those italian painting masters. they’d probably tell me to suck it up. but in fear of permanent carpel tunnel damage i decided to call it a day and hopefully regain normal hand function. otherwise i’d have to become a righty after all.