ugh. i kind of feel terrible right now. terrible and maybe wonderful? it’s hard to tell. after four months of life without facebook, as of today, i’m back on. shit, i know i know, you told me so. part of me is screaming ‘NOOOOOOO you’re just giving in!!’ and the other part, the part that decided to go back on and save some friendships, not to mention my sanity for the next few months of cabin fever, says ‘cut yourself some slack jack’.
maybe i came to my senses, maybe it’s just something i shouldn’t get rid of right now, not at this point in my life. the life of a peace corps volunteer can be pretty isolating and lonely and maintaining long distance friendships with those back home is never easy. since i’ve left facebook it’s gotten even harder. i really haven’t heard from many of my friends.
i figured it wasn’t going to be easy, i thought it would probably take time for my friends and i to become pros at emailing and writing letters. but except for a few, it turned out that any other mediums weren’t very successful. maybe as a generation we’ve just become lazy. maybe we just refuse to use any other outlets to stay connected and in-touch other than through facebook.
i was frustrated with how things were turning out. and only felt more distant and more isolated as time went on. it took a few emails back and forth with my best friend from back home for me to realize a few thing. being away hasn’t been easy for my friends either. it’s been an adjustment for all of us. and while i find myself jealous over their fun hangouts together, i’m often off having adventures of my own just the same. my friends can easily read one of my many blog posts to understand what’s going on with me, but i often never new what was happening in their lives. i felt out of the their lives without facebook — something i regretted deeply.
i ultimately left facebook because i didn’t really like feeling so attached to something, to a weird world on the internet. but then again once i refrained from it, i just seemed to throw myself into yet another world, the world of blogging. maybe it’s not as bad as facebook. at least here i’m writing and doing something semi-productive. i truly enjoy this blog and what it’s evolved into. so i asked myself how is being on facebook much different? and i guess it’s really not.
in the few hours i’ve been back on facebook my friends welcomed me back, not with ‘i told you so’s like i worried, but with many kind remarks. some expressed worry that i was kidnaped by pirates/became a pirate and another friend even thought i might be dead! but i’m back. back in hopes to reconnect with my friends. in hopes to share in their lives and feel closer to home. in hopes to not go a-wall over this coming winter, and in hopes to prove that i’m not dead yet (cue monty python).