[i completely blame that the theme of this blog on the fact that ever since i tried to think of a caption for a photo of seemingly headless chickens (not actually headless, see below), i can’t help but sing basement jaxx’s “where’s your head at?”. at first the title was just kind of a joke till i thought of something better, but really, it seems to fit just fine. like a well taught english/art major, i’ve made sense from non-sense. or at least really good bullshit sense from non-sense]
it’s my last week of school but i seem to be busier than i have been for, um, maybe the entire semester? part of it’s my fault. okay, most of it. no, part of it. i’ve been making powerpoint presentations that are way too long and way too involved for class and for a seminar on friday. i’ve been chained to my computer working on various projects, requests, planning that all seem to have appeared out of no where. where were all of these things when i was bored out of my mind in the dead of winter??! it’s nice to have things to do, but my desktop and brain are a disorganized mess. it all leaves me asking, “kristen, where’s your head at?” or more appropriately, “where’s that file at?”.
after finishing the beast of a presentation (101 slides strong!) on national parks in the USA last night, i showed it to my 11th formers and 7th formers today. they seemed to enjoy looking at all the photos and if all goes well we’re all going on a class road trip to yellowstone in 2015!!!! clearly i’m just kidding. i wasn’t even asked to make this presentation, so slaving over keynote is mostly my fault. but i thought it would be interesting for them and it was a good excuse for me to look at pretty pictures and plan imaginary trips (denali park here i come!). so, in all, totally worth it.
while i was working on my presentation for an upcoming teacher seminar, my fellow english teacher (i recently found out she’s only a year older than me) came into the room teary eyed. she began to say “the keyboard of the biology room…” and i knew it wasn’t good. when gave my presentation in that room i moved the keyboard to the classroom computer aside to place my laptop. i meant to move it back, but rushed off to another class and forgot. i immediately thought the worst, picturing a vase of water falling on it, or maybe it fell to the floor…but no…the teacher of that classroom yelled at my co-teacher simply over a moved keyboard. the teacher of that classroom told my co-teacher that she and her class would never be allowed in that room again and other teachers also don’t want her in their rooms.
yes, this is all because i moved the keyboard.
if i had remembered to move the keyboard back none of this would have happened. all i could think was “where’s your head at kristen?”. if anyone should have been yelled at it should have been me. not my sweet hearted co-teacher who’s never said a mean spirited thing in the year we’ve taught together. why yell at her? i consoled her, told her i wanted to talk to the teacher, tell her that it was ME, my fault but she told me that no, everything was fine.
of course this isn’t really about the keyboard being moved. i think it has some (all) to do with showing who’s in charge of who and teachers with classrooms of their own abusing their power on teachers that don’t have a classroom. but anyways, i wanted to clear things up. i did it, so i deserve the blame. during a break between classes i set out to find the teacher and apologize. i wasn’t really sure if she’d yell at me or how things would go but i certainly didn’t see them going as they did. when i found her all i began to say was “it was me, i’m sorry. i really wasn’t thinking, i meant to –” but before i even finished she told me held my hands, said “it’s okay sunshine!”, and then pulled me in for a hug — uh, definitely a turn of events. earlier my co-teacher told me talking to her might make things worse, but i’m glad i did. i think it showed i took responsibility for whatever happened. or maybe i got the “she’s the american” free pass.
so what was seemingly a terrible day at school turned out to be just fine. on the way home i walked passed my landlady who informed me of the power outage at home (no surprise there). i had stuff to work on that required internet, but no power was ukraine’s way of telling me, “take a break and go outside ya goof!”. so i did just that. i grabbed my sleeping bag, camera, and sketchbook and headed to the backyard. the day was gorgeous and the sky was the bluest it’s been in a while (and yes, it’s really not photoshopped). for a while i wrote some letters and worked on a tattoo design. then i just laid there. it became just me and the blue sky and white flowers, i became lost in the colors rivaling that of van gogh’s blossoming almond tree. i laid there in the sunshine listening to the sounds of the village — the bees swarming in the cherry trees, birds, pigs, chickens, roosters, the way a turkey puffing its tail feathers sounds like an umbrella opening, all synchronized with the ever so constant chorus of dogs. i sat there, surrounded by a complete lack of manmade noises, thinking of how much i’ll miss this — i’ll miss this pace of life, the wide open space, the connection to the land, the quiet.
when my landlady returned home and found me outside laying in the sun without a coat, she scolded me. i knew it was a big “no no” but it just felt so nice to have the sun only go through two layers of clothing rather than three. she told me to put my coat on or i’ll get sick, but i just smiled and argued that the sun will keep me warm. she shook her head and smiled back but i’m sure she was really wondering “where’s you’re head at?”